Afloat And Adrift
by anotherfngrl
Summary: Gibbs does his best to keep Tony afloat while he's stationed at sea.  Father/son, not slash.


Early on in Tony's stint as Agent Afloat, Gibbs makes a deal with the MTAC techs. If there's free time and Tony's within range, he gets to talk to his second in command (and nobody pretends to think Tony isn't still Gibbs' partner, whoever he officially reports to these days). They can usually guess when they're going to be able to talk, and Gibbs emails Tony the times, telling him to be on standby in the communications room. Invariably, Tony is bouncing over the shoulder of one of the techs when they connect with the ship.

They generally just catch up. Gibbs fills Tony in on whatever his team is working on, often gaining new insights from his second's unusual thought processes, and Tony, well, Tony just talks. He doesn't feel safe discussing open investigations, not in front of techs he barely knows, but he fills Gibbs in on cases he's solved, whines about his accommodations, and is generally his usual entertaining self.

Gibbs knows how much these quick chats mean to Tony. The young man is like a son to him, and Tony needs Gibbs more than ever while he's afloat, needs him as badly as any boy has ever needed his father. He even jokingly begins referring to his Gibbs as Dad, both of them achingly aware that "Boss" isn't a true epithet right now, however much they wish it were. Gibbs only smiles the first time Tony hesitantly tosses out the nickname, clearly ready to make a joke of it, and the older man finds himself saying, "I'll talk to you soon, son," when they hang up.

So when Gibbs calls the Regan at 0900 one morning for what's hopefully going to be an unusually long chance to catch up with his surrogate son, he's surprised to discover that Tony isn't in the communication room. Seeing the pain in the MCRT lead's face, one of the DC techs convinces his onboard counterpart to go to DiNozzo's quarters, in case the young man has gotten sick or something.

The tech returns promptly with the clearly hung over Agent Afloat. "Hey, Gibbs," he manages weakly, his voice scratchy from a morning spent puking up his guts.

Gibbs is clearly furious, but his voice is calm and polite when he asks, "Could we get some privacy?" All the MTAC tech's headsets can be switched into noise canceling mode during especially sensitive conversations, and Gibbs watches as, one by one, they flip their switches, one of the DC techs, Jim, who Gibbs knows is a friend of Tony's shooting the young agent a sympathetic look as he does so.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gibbs asks immediately.

Tony looks miserable, but grits out, "I'm hungover," unable to lie to Gibbs, even now.

The older agent snorts. "I can see that. I mean what the hell were you thinking? You joke about being the only cop in a city of 5,000, but there's a responsibility to that job. What if there'd been an incident last night? You'd have been useless. And what if something happens now? There's no way you can do your job like that," he says, waving an arm in the direction of the screen in disgust.

Tony fell immediately into his usual "in trouble" pose when Gibbs began to speak. He's standing tensely at parade rest, his gaze focussed just to the side of the camera, probably over the shoulder of the version of Gibbs on his screen. He doesn't speak when Gibbs finishes, just continues staring straight ahead, his gaze shuttered. Only years of experience allows Gibbs to see the misery and guilt in the young man's eyes.

When it becomes clear that Tony isn't going to speak, Gibbs barks out, "Anthony," imbuing the young man's name with all the disappointment and censure he can.

Tony looks as if he's been physically hit. "I fucked up," he says, guilt making his tone ever so slightly belligerent. Gibbs raises an eyebrow and Tony is immediately cowed. "It won't happen again, sir," he says, not noticing how he's addressed his Boss.

But Gibbs notices, and he sees the pain in Tony's expression. If the kid were with him in person, they would already be done. He'd have ripped into the boy, whacked the back of his obviously aching head, and they'd have moved on. But the miles separating them make their usual method of discipline and closure impossible. Knowing that he's too angry for a pleasant chat with the young man before him and that Tony's guilt complex has already kicked into high gear, Gibbs sighs.

"We'll try to talk later in the week," he says, aware that Tony is probably feeling rejected and wishing he could hug the boy and reassure him. He notices the tech beside him, Tony's friend, typing a message to the others, but ignores it, assuming they're scheduling the next call.

Tony nods miserably, clearly feeling dismissed. "Sorry," he says, his voice sounding unusually tight.

Gibbs doesn't do goodbyes, but he can't help adding, "Take care of yourself," before signaling to cut the conversation. The light on the camera in front of him blinks out, but the picture of Tony remains. He turns to ask what the hell is going on, but Jim pulls off his headset and says, "Just trust me."

"Fuck," Tony says, deflating when Gibbs' picture disappears. "Fucking hell, DiNozzo, can't you do anything right? You _know_ how Gibbs feels about drinking when you're on call. And you're always on call! Wouldn't blame him if he never brought me back, a useless shit like me."

The Regan techs look decidedly uneasy, one of the pair poised to get to his feet and comfort DiNozzo, when Gibbs signals to Jim to turn him back on. Tony jumps when his Boss appears in front of him again, and looks decidedly nervous. "Boss?" he asks uncertainly.

The techs' headsets are still in noise canceling mode, and they all make a show of turning away from the screen. Gibbs mentally thanks Jim, deciding to take the man out for lunch when this is over. In the meantime, though, his son needs him.

"Calm down, Tony," Gibbs says gently. "Just because I'm not there to whack you when you screw up doesn't mean I'm going to get rid of you."

"Want me to whack myself?" Tony offers, and Gibbs is surprised to realize the boy is totally serious. He clearly needs to feel he's been punished so he can accept forgiveness. Still, they're doing this on Gibbs' terms, if they're doing it.

"For drinking last night? No, Tony, we already handled that. It's over. For the tantrum I just witnessed? Hell yes. You deserve it for that one." Tony obediently reaches up and cuffs himself as hard as he can across the back of the head. Gibbs winces. Tony clearly hasn't taken his headache into account, and he's just hit himself a hell of a lot harder than Gibbs would have.

The older man forces Tony to maintain eye contact, something he knows the young man hates when he's being scolded. He can handle just about anything Gibbs throws at him, except his Boss' genuine disappointment or concern. And he's getting that now in spades.

"What the hell, Tony?" Gibbs asks, very worried by the young man's behavior. "You know better." Tony gives a visible flinch at that, but bravely maintains eye contact, although Gibbs knows how hard it must be for the young man. "I've never, ever expected you to be perfect. If you screw up, I let you have it and we move on. Why would now suddenly be different?"

It's a genuine question, and Tony's flip, "Cause you've finally got the chance to be rid of me?" makes him growl.

"Anthony." Hearing his full name draws Tony up short. The severity of the tone has him wrapping his own arms around his waist for comfort.

"I'm sorry," Tony tells him sadly, sounding extremely chastened.

"I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to listen!" Gibbs can't help his raised voice, and he pauses to take a deep breath before continuing, seeing that he's upsetting Tony more. "None of this has ever been about me getting rid of you. I'm doing everything I can to get the team back together. I wish you trusted me enough to believe that." It's a low blow, but it jars Tony out of his guilty spiral.

"Boss-" he begins immediately, but Gibbs shakes his head minutely.

"Not your Boss right now, Tony," he says. Tony takes that the wrong way, he can tell, but this is a point that needs to be made.

"Gibbs-" the boy tries again, but the older man shakes his head slightly. Tony hesitates, guessing what Gibbs is trying to get him to say but worried he's wrong. "I do trust you, Dad," he manages finally, the last word barely a whisper.

"Good boy," Gibbs says encouragingly. Tony still looks upset, so he continues, "Outside the world of big business owners, how many fathers and sons work together?" Tony shrugs minutely. "Not many," he says, when it becomes clear that a verbal response is beyond Tony right now. "That doesn't mean they aren't family."

Tony looks like he's about to speak, but Gibbs has one more point he needs to make, so he holds up his hand, silencing the younger man. "I am still doing everything in my power to get you transfered back onto the team. But even if that never happens, it doesn't mean you're on your own."

"Thanks, Dad," Tony manages with a watery smile. It's the first time the name comes out without hesitance, as if Tony expects to be mocked for using it. Gibbs rewards that with a small smile.

"Now, tell me what you've been up to," he says gently, trying to get them back on an even keel.

Tony smiles and begins, "I won the poker tournament last night! You wouldn't believe-" he then freezes. Not only is the poker tournament why he was drinking, something he knows he's in trouble over, gambling on the ship is technically illegal. Tony made the value call that there was nothing wrong with friendly card games, but that doesn't mean Gibbs agrees, and he definitely shouldn't have been playing, even if they were playing for chips instead of cash.

"Well?" Gibbs asks gently, clearly not intending to scold Tony for this revelation, and the young man relaxes and begins detailing the amazing luck that led to his winning the game. There's a light in Tony's eyes that's been gone for awhile, and Gibbs smiles as his surrogate son chatters along happily until they have to disconnect.

Tony faces the end of the call bravely as always. "Give Abs a hug for me," he requests.

Gibbs nods, "I will. And Tony? I've got your six."

"Bye, Dad," Tony manages, his throat tight with emotion.

"I'll talk to you soon, son," Gibbs says before tapping Jim to signal the end of the call.


End file.
